Communicate with Compassion in Christchurch – May 2019

9, 16, 23, 30 May 2019*


9.30 am to 12.30 pm Thursday

4 Thursday mornings

your teachers

Jim Lovell-Smith and Valerie Wycoff

@ Quaker Centre, 217 Ferry Rd, Waltham, Christchurch 8011

*based on the model of Marshall Rosenberg, PhD, Founder of the Center for Nonviolent Communication

Because we care about creating respectful and loving relationships, and fostering care and justice in the world, and because we believe in life-long learning, we invite you to this 2 day workshop on 2 consecutive Saturdays.

Most of us have been educated to think and communicate in terms of what is ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ with others. Even with the best intentions, we can generate needless conflict and misunderstanding.

In this workshop, you will learn and practice tools that can improve your relationship with yourself, your co-workers, and your friends and family.

  • Identify common ways of speaking that disconnect
  • Learn steps to express honestly so that others can hear
  • Learn to listen with empathy
  • Move from blame and judgment to connection
  • Make clear actionable requests

We (Valerie and Jim) have been studying and practicing NVC for 10 years.  To read more about us, simply scroll down this page.  To learn more about NVC in Aotearoa/NZ, visit


SIMPLY Register online  LINK HERE

**Koha/Donation $150 to $250 requested for individual participation and course book and materials. Where work places sponsor professional development we request $250 and will provide an invoice.

Please bring food to share for lunch on Saturday. Morning and afternoon teas are provided.

*You might also enjoy watching Marshall Rosenberg introduce his method “nonviolent communciation” in this video


Valerie Wycoff

“Rejected is not a feeling – it’s a story about what happened.”  Those words which introduced to me Marshall Rosenberg’s work and contrasted feeling and thinking, enticed me to look out forJim and Val medium a chance to learn NVC or Compassionate Communication.

Some of the teachers who we have learned from include Robert Gonzales, Miki Kashtan, Robert Kržišnik, Kathy Simon, and Kelly Bryson. We have learned much from others in NZ including Meagan Rutherford, Phil Toms, and our first teacher Paxe Archer. My learnings have helped me in my relationships with family and others, and just as importantly to be kinder, more honest and more caring with myself.

I am a “people person” and I love to support others to be life-long learners, to change habits, and to be more compassionate with their self-talk.  While I came to nonviolent communication to improve my relationships with others, a precious gift of continuing to practice NVC has been learning to accept myself.

Jim Lovell-Smith

Our interest in NVC was sparked at an Introductory Workshop led by Paxe Archer in 2008.  Learning to live life “with the joy of a small child feeding a hungry duck” sounded most appealing to me, as did freedom to say “no” to demands. Valerie  and I have been passionate about learning and practicing Compassionate Communication ever since.  From that time we have participated in and run study groups, led and participated in practice groups, and attended advanced courses and retreats

I am grateful that I attended an IIT (International Intensive Training) in Albuquerque in 2010, where I got the chance to meet Marshall Rosenberg. I also had an astonishing heart warming experience there, role playing my late father saying the words I longed to hear “I love you, Jim”.

Valerie and I have participated in 6 retreats with international NVC Trainer Robert Gonzales and in 2017 took part in an International Intensive Training in Nonviolent Communication in Bali. We appreciate the opportunities to experience an NVC community with all its richness and to be inspired to teach more ourselves.  Valerie and I also offer an NVC practice group at our home on a regular basis.

We have been married for nearly 40 years and we’ve appreciated the opportunities to grow our “empathy capacity” and to become more resourceful in conflicts and in coming to agreements. While we wish we’d been aware of NVC when our two children were small, we value the way our learnings have helped us connect with our adult children, and feel we are better equipped as grandparents.

Valerie and Jim may be contacted by email at: or phone 351-7432 or 021 135 2130 for Jim


Early registration (over a week before the course) is reassuring to us and helps us relax into our preparation for teaching. Would you be willing to send $50 or more to hold your place as registration?  Places are limited. Balance of Koha/Donation requested by Tuesday May 7

We thank you in advance for your commitment to your learning, and putting time aside to create a better world for us all to live in.

**Why do we request a Koha/Donation? To meet needs for Support/Choice/Appreciation/Acknowledgement

How much shall I donate?  We request $150 to $250.  Please choose a donation amount that is meaningful, generous, affordable and joyful.  Your gifts will help us to further this work, and to sustain our ongoing investment in our own training and development as teachers of NVC.  We have been teaching publicly for 3 years and are currently registered candidates for Certification with Center of Nonviolent Communication.

$50 of the donation covers basic printing, venue and morning and afternoon teas.

If you’d love to learn NVC and our requested $150 minimum Koha would cause you hardship – we invite you to talk with us. is now You may like to update your links.